For those that have been keeping up and supporting me, thank you for your patience, your grace, and your unwavering support.
I wanted to share some words that spewed out recently. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if they resonate or not.
On forgiveness:
I forgive you.
I forgive you for trying to do it all on your own. I forgive you for taking the weight of the world and placing them on your shoulders—when nobody told you to do so. I forgive you for taking on the responsibility of others. I forgive you for trying to help the world around you. I forgive you for believing that if you could only do things the way they were mapped out in your head, that everything would be okay, that the suffering of your loved ones would stop, that you were on the right path all along.
Maybe you were. Maybe you are. Maybe it just looks different and there are chapters that still haven’t arrived yet. Chapters that will make it all make it sense.
But this letter to you is me deeply and intently letting you know that I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you for avoiding the tough conversations. I forgive you for believing that conflict was an enemy. I forgive you for embodying being a ‘strong person’. I forgive you for not being keen to the reality that we ALL need help. And that vulnerability is actually what strength is.
I forgive you for not learning how to ask for help sooner, or allowing people to help you.
I forgive you for not setting the boundaries you’ve had to place for yourself for so long.
I forgive you for not allowing yourself to be held in the times you’ve needed to be held most.
I forgive you for neglecting your body and physical health. Trust me, I do. And I vow to do everything in my power to no longer let you do that.
I forgive you for living in survival mode all this time. I forgive you for feeling like you’ve had to be go-go-go, all this time.
I forgive you for running yourself towards destruction when you should have been walking patiently and intently.
I think you get the point.
I forgive you.
I promise to be graceful with you. I promise to be patient with you. I promise to be kind with you.
I promise to be selfish with you. With you only. Because you deserve the world. You deserve the world you so desperately yearn to give others.
If you find this newsletter valuable, here are two ways you can support me:
Share it with someone else! Share this with whoever you feel may need to hear these messages. Thank you so much in advance.
Reply back to this email and tell me what your biggest takeaway was. Hearing from all of you is the highlight of these, because it informs me of what resonates well. It informs me of what's impactful. And as long as one bit is helpful to you, that's how I'm fulfilled!
Hoping you have a great weekend,
Kevin Castillo